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Monday 11 January 2016

Life Before Postpartum Depression

In order for you to truly see how depression affected me, I must tell you about life before the mental plague took me down.  I say that 2013 was the absolute best year of my life; 2014 was the absolute worst.  This is not an exaggeration.

By the end of 2013, I had accomplished many great things to my benefit:
  • I was recently married.
  • I finished university a semester early.
  • I enjoyed tutoring math to many wonderful individuals.
  • I enjoyed teaching beginner piano lessons to a little girl.
  • I had many, many good and close friends that I socialized with often.
  • I felt that I had a close relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
  • I enjoyed studying the scriptures, praying, and going to church.
  • I lived very close to my loving family.

I was so enthusiastic about starting a new, exciting life in a new city with my new husband the following year.  I wrote in my journal the first day in our new ward:

"Oh, life is so good here!  Everyday I've been so content and happy and blessed.  I've loved being able to relax and be with Lucas."

Ogrins_0069
Oh, happy day!
Photo credit: John Greep

I was sad to not be able to tutor my previous students (who had become dear, young friends of mine!), but was hired to start tutoring math again almost immediately.  I also started to make friends (or at least acquaintances) and started to get involved in the community and at church.

I knew it was important to set goals for myself to help me settle into a new place and I now had time to do the many things I wanted to do for so long.  I got started right away on developing talents, skills, and just trying to be a better person.

I was then pleased to find out I became pregnant very shortly after we moved.  By the beginning of February 2014, I was already feeling the effects of pregnancy hormones: mood swings and nausea.

Sadly, it all goes downhill from there...

Have you had a distinct change from absolute joy to absolute despair that happened within a relatively short time? What caused it?

Next week's topic: [My First Pregnancy]

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